OH Ella

Oh ella.

Ella Grace, you push my buttons and touch my heart like no other person I know. The last couple of nights have been challenging with you. Last night, I mentioned around 5pm that it was bath night and after bath I was going to cut your bangs as a small hair cut was much needed. During bath, you got pulled out before I could even wash you due to your naughtiness of splashing water all over the bathroom (ugh). While you were drying off, I was tending to your crying brother when all of the sudden I heard you exclaim, “Yeah Mommy I did it!” I turned around to face my worst nightmare, you holding pieces of your hair in your hands. Luckily, it’s not too bad, could have been a whole lot worse. I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better though as its going to grow out and stick up in all the wrong places. Shortly after that, I said, in a second we’re going to brush your teeth and go to bed. Again, turning to deal with Briggs, I turned around and you had opened my makeup bag (from a recent over night stay in Chicago for work) and had toothpaste EVERYWHERE including a teeny tiny bit on my toothbrush. MENTAL NOTE: don’t ever tell Ella what we’re about to do or going to do. She is 2384 steps ahead of me. Seriously child. I couldn’t really be mad at you.
Tonight after some whining and plea bargaining, I took you upstairs for bed which as of late is always a challenge. It started off okay, but as per typical, you started flalling around when it was time for a diaper and jammies. Kicking, screaming, etc… SO, I put you in a holding time out. Where I hold you on my lap until you want to “Listen & Obey” (our key words). Let’s just say that I am still praying with diligence that the neighbors did not hear you (though I’m not sure how they could not) so that no one would call child protective services. Hopefully, most of the parents reading this would agree that their child has on once (or please say more!) occasion had an episode like this. Holy Buckets, you would have thought I was killing you. The thing about it is that I warned you, and warned you again, and warned you again, threatened you, let you get away with more than you should, let you get away with some more and then realized, you were not going to start “listening and obeying” unless I gave you consequences.

Finally, after you calmed down and I was patting your back and you were giving me hugs and kisses saying “Sorry mommy, it’s otay mommy, otay” I realized, this is how God feels about us. He leads us in the right direction, we veer, veer some more, He leads us in the right direction again, we don’t listen, and then we are faced to deal with our consequences all the while asking God, “Why?” And while God is a loving God who loves us unconditionally (meaning it doesn’t matter how much we don’t listen, He still loves us), this challenges me to be more understanding of Ella’s situation. Yes, I can/should have more patience, BUT, I shouldn’t put up with wrong behavior. You choose the behavior, you choose the consequence. A hard lesson for a 2 year old? You betcha. A hard lesson for a 30 year old? No question.